GAME 1 //// "Lady Garglaarr"

How to play: Players take it in turns to gargle orange squash while simultaneously gargling/singing one of the hits of popular transsexual Gwen Stefani tribute act Lady Gaga.

Other contestants race to guess the song being gargled. If they want to make a guess then they must shout "nar nar nar nargh" in honour of the terrible backing vocals on 'Poker Face'.

The winner is the first to five points. Lady Gaga only have five songs - 'Just Dance - Ney Ney Ney Woo', 'Can't Read, Read', 'Disco Stick', 'Love Me Love Me Love Me Love Me Papa, Papaparazzi', and ... um...

The loser (i.e. the one with the least points once a winner has been found) must then take a rought ride on every other player's disco stick.

Unlike Lady Gaga, girls don't have disco sticks, but they can use the following: cans of hairspray, deodorant bottles (be careful not to lose them), rolling pins, rolled up magazines, chorizo.