Who's Who in "1 Direction"?

From l-r: Niall, Zain, Liam, Harry and Louis.

There you go.

Liam Payne in the middle is the main singer, the most likely to enter 'showmances' with celebrity girls. He looks better when he smiles. An arranged marriage to Diana Vickers is on the cards for 2011.

Harry Styles is quite a good singer and did a wonderful job singing about being naked on the floor as part of the group's rendition of 'Torn', which Simon Cowell enjoyed from behind dark glasses. When Harry Styles first auditioned Louis gave him a No in an attempt to save the boy from sleeping in a villa with Simon Cowell across the summer. Louis Walsh said to Harry: "I think you're so young, you don't have the right experience or confidence yet. For all the right reasons I am going to say no", which translates as "RUN HARRY - BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!" Oh well. Let's hope they sell Savlon on the continent.

Niall Horan has blond hair and an unusual name which makes him the 3rd most important member of 1 Direction.

Zain was the centre of a boot-camp drama in which he refused to dance, and then Simon Cowell and the judges 'lost' him, but luckily there was a TV crew with him in the empty room that he chose to go and cry in.

The final member is called Louis Tomlinson and doesn't have an audition video. Nobody has ever heard him speak, sing or do anything. God knows where they got him. In fact, a few people know where they got him.

They're cute, but they're no Jedward.